Under Pressure

Gotta say that I'm already feeling the pressure a little bit this semester. I guess part of it is all of the build-up to the TEAS and the waiting for my results, which came in at a 86.5%. I'm happy with my score and hoping that it will be enough to get into the accelerated program at Kennesaw. All of the application process has been stressful for me and I'll be glad when I finally know where I will be going.

The other part is that I feel like I'm a little behind where I wanted to be in Anatomy. I feel like the material is difficult enough so that I need a little time for it to absorb, so to speak, and it just keeps building without much of a break. I know this is how my nursing program will be, so, I guess I should get used to it for the time being. The important thing for me is that I understand this stuff, because I know that I will probably need a lot of it once my program starts. Often, it seems like the emphasis is on memorizing it and not "knowing" it. If you know what I mean.

Maggie is doing great. Ben and I have instituted a "bed at exactly 8pm" policy and it seems to be working well. She woke up by herself at 7:30am this morning. Simply unheard of in our house! I've had to bribe her with a new bunk-bed to get her to sleep by herself and have a bed time, but it will be worth it and it will give her something to be excited about. She has wanted a bunk-bed for almost 2 years now, so, I knew I would probably have to give in eventually anyway. They have a couple from Pottery Barn Kids that will separate into two twin beds once she grows out of the bunk-bed idea. That is probably what I will end up getting for her.

We also had a great time at the annual winter party for Casa's primary school. They had Laughing Pizza come and do a concert for the kids and they had pizza and cookies for lunch. Maggie had a great time with her buddies and I got some great pictures and videos of her dancing and singing along.

Nervous

I'm starting to get nervous about the TEAS next week. That jumpy sort of nervous where you have a hard time concentrating on anything and little things seem to bug you. I've never really been a fantastic test taker. I always seem to let the time crunch effect me in a negative way. Things that I thought I knew pretty well float out of my head when I'm asked to regurgitate them quickly. Isabella, my acupuncturist, has been helping me with ways to possibly alleviate some of the anxiety. It seems to be helping a little, but not completely.

Maggie is bopping along like usual. She has been really good about leaving me be (for the most part), while I am hidden among my huge stack of books. She keeps herself pretty busy, drawing, playing on the computer or watching Pfiff and Fluff. Sometimes she comes up with elaborate games for herself. Like taking care of her stuffed animals or throwing a birthday party for Hello Kitty. Today she is being rather quiet. Usually that would set off alarm bells in my head, but she is still in my site range, so, I don't feel too nervous. It seems that my room is the most tempting place to perform mischief. She cut her hair, wrote on the fireplace and filled the toilet to overflow in there. And all of this since she turned four. And I thought 18 months was bad. HA!

School

It always amazes me how much energy there is at the beginning of a semester or quarter. I can practically feel the flurry around me as I watch people studying or walking from class to class. It is the kind of beginning of school feeling that you get as a kid, but maybe with a little less of the butterfly in the stomach feeling and more adult excitement mixed with anxiety. I love nothing more than new books and school supplies. Always have. The smell of pencil shavings or a new pack of paper is just heavenly. I guess this is why I have always kind of liked office and art supply stores, whether or not I am in school at the time. It is even more fun in the fall, when the weather is just right and that adds another dimension of sensation. As uncool as it was, I always loved to walk home from school once the weather turned a little colder. In Georgia, we usually have to wait until Halloween or later for that to happen, but it was absolutely magical to walk down my street with a canopy of trees in their fall colors.

I keep thinking about Maggie and her school experiences. What it will be like and what she will choose to explore. Or if she will hate school and try to make her own experiences separate from it. If I know my girl, she will definitely have her own unique view. She makes the funniest observations and picks up on the funniest things. In some ways, it is like she is too adult for her own good. She tells me constantly that something is "just ridiculous" or corrects me using my own words. A couple of weeks ago, she chided me for using "potty talk" when I said peanuts. At first, I was really confused, but then I realized that she thought I was referring to male genitalia instead of the nut. She used to call that particular part "peanuts" when she was younger. Cheeky young lass.

My very indulgent husband.

On a whim I decided to go out and see the Twilight movie last night. Ben looked at me like I had two heads when I asked him, but I just had to get out of the house. I had had two days in a row of being stuck in the house with nothing to do but study, watch the mice, clean or watch the rain and I honestly thought I was going to lose my mind. I am really not a home body and I find it really hard to take if I have to stay inside too long. The house becomes this gigantic box that slowly closes in on me.

The movie wasn't great, but it wasn't horrible either. The actors who played Bella and Edward did a good job, but some of the casting choices for the other characters I found rather odd. Also, the editing and sound stuff was totally weird to me. It was pretty choppy and seemed rather unpolished. I realize that there is a ton of content in those books. If she had one that was under 500 pages then I would be surprised. But, it just didn't seem to flow naturally. I don't think it was really that close to the feel of the book. It would be hard to please me with a movie based on that book though since I loved it so much, so, all in all, it wasn't so bad.

Maggie and Ben did a daddy and daughter trip to Publix while I was gone. It is hilarious how little it takes to please Maggie. She loves to do stuff with her dad. I guess they just picked up a few things for dessert (we went to have sushi for dinner) and played a bit with Pfiff and Fluff. I was home early enough to get her to bed at a reasonable hour and to read to her. Since I have been reading so much lately, what with that Twilight series that took over my life for two weeks, she has started to carry a chapter book around with her with a bookmark in it. It is too cute for words! So, we read a little of that, too, along with what she always asks for . . . Petterson and Findus books. She is obsessed with Petterson and Findus. They are really cute books about a farmer and his rascal cat. The illustrations are really great, too. You can always find something new in the picture.

Stuff

Sometimes it is hard for me to believe how much stuff one accumulates over a lifetime. I guess that it doesn't help that you have probably two or three events a year that you will receive stuff, with the additional everyday collecting of things for this and that. And if you are a kid, you can probably add four or five more events a year where you receive stuff and thus, it makes the quantities all the more bountiful. If you are a kid like Maggie, who is the only grandchild and, for the most part, the only kid in the family, you can also add in the huge grandparent/relative factor to the equation.

Maggie and I have spent the majority of the afternoon cleaning her room, which just gets so overwhelming. When we first moved to this house, I thought that there would be no possible way that we could ever fill that room. And, low and behold, it is almost looking crowded in there! Unbelievable! To give some perspective, the kid has practically a wing of the house to herself for a playroom. A kids dream room really with a small closet for a secret room, a round window out to the front of the house and a small deck of her own.

Sometimes it gives me a small belly-ache to thing about what she might take for granted, which is why Ben and I try so hard to give her a little perspective. Don't know if our tactics have worked, but we sure do try all the same. I think that taking the toys and clothes to the homeless shelter right before Christmas made an impression on her. I sure hope it did.

Just for my darling Ines!

Since I was getting complaints for not writing daily (I love you, Ines), I decided to write something quick about my day and my first day of school experience.
Unfortunately, it has started to rain AGAIN. I didn't think I would ever complain about the rain. Especially since our water level situation in Atlanta was so dire as recently as last year. Lake Lanier was so low that they were estimating that it would take years to recover. But now it is just getting ridiculous. A month solid with hardly a sunny day. And on top of it, the temperatures are also weird, hot and cold from one day to the next. No wonder so many people I know are sick or getting over being sick.
So, other than watch the rain, Maggie and I spent some time playing with Pfiff. She is definitely the more social of the two mice and she loves the ball that we got her to run around in. Maggie is happy, because both Pfiff and Fluff seem a bit afraid of being handled and the ball is a way that she can carry at least one of them around.
I have also been hard at work on my first chapter of anatomy. Seems hard, I won't lie. Lots of chemistry and names and concepts that I will have to familiarize myself with. I doubt it is as dire as my professor would have one think . . . when she professed that, "You will have to know 80% of what I do to make an A in here." I won't think that this isn't something I absolutely can't master. I really hate defeatist thinking. So, I will work hard and do my best. Can't really expect more.

Sometimes I wonder . . .

I swear that sometimes I really question my intelligence. It is entirely impossible for me to get the date right, right now. I just make too many assumptions without checking them, I guess. During the holidays, I forgot the date for fee payment for school, by 10 days! I assumed it was the 18th and it was actually the 8th. Duh! And then, I thought I didn't start class until next Tuesday and low and behold, my first day is TODAY! Ack! So, in about an hour, I will cart Maggie over to her grandmother's house so that I can get to class. Seriously, I need to check my calendar every day to get stuff right. My mom and Jan are complaining that they can't remember things anymore, because they are getting too old. I couldn't remember stuff when I was 20, not to mention now. It sucks to be in my head sometimes.

Otherwise, kind of a quiet day. The sun is finally shining after almost 2 weeks of rain, but of course, it is just cold enough for me not to want to spend too long out there. I'm sure Maggie would want to, but she was complaining of a bad stomach ache this morning and got to stay home from school. Actually, I think it was good for her since she hasn't been getting the sleep she should. Hopefully, she will go to bed early tonight and catch up on some sleep over the weekend.